College football fake news

I love college football. I love writing fake news. I love writing fake college football news. Here’s a list of such.

Riot-fearing Columbus requests assistance from Bartertown, Master Blaster [Jan. 9, 2007]
Erickson excited about new job, Monster.com membership [Jan. 8, 2007]
Cancer cured: “I am not going to cure cancer,” says Saban [Jan. 7, 2007]
FCC fines NBC a record $250,000 for on-air fellatio of Notre Dame [Jan. 6, 2007]
“You have 72 hours to give me the Genesis Device,” says Tressel to U.N., NCAA [Jan. 5, 2007]
Survey reveals many consider Notre Dame the Yankees of playing like shit [Jan. 4, 2007]
Movie critics nationwide blast Boise State for unbelievable ending [Jan. 4, 2007]
Notre Dame objects to ESPN billing of Sugar Bowl as “Catholics vs. Competent Football Players” [Dec. 28, 2006]
Voltron to coach Tide in ‘07 [Dec. 20, 2006]
Meyer demands rock-paper-scissors showdown in lieu of BCS title game [Dec. 19, 2006]
Godzilla-Mothra undercard on hold in Columbus; sources say giant radioactive lizard wants more money, GameDay segment [Nov. 14, 2006]
Duke cancels football season in wake of lack of sexual assault scandal [July 3, 2006]
Miami’s 7th Floor Crew honored with Pulitzer for Faulkner biography [June 21, 2006]
Kansas State set to play 1988 Kansas State squad in ‘09, ‘10 [June 15, 2006]
Mark Richt breaks long silence on breasts or ass debate: “I’m definitely an ass man” [June 13, 2006]
Urban Meyer introduces new “leave before Chris Leak gets on the bus” offense [May 31, 2006]
Shetland ponies proclaim Maurice Drew the messiah [May 16, 2006]
Dorrell destroys Carroll’s One Ring; Third Age of USC ends as last of the Trojans sail to Catalina [May 9, 2006]
Tressel gives Carr noogie, wedgie, lunchtime de-pantsing; hall monitor, NCAA silent on issue [May 5, 2006]
Carroll apologizes to Poseidon with burnt offering, three flocks of cattle, Reggie Bush shaped golden idol [May 1, 2006]
Best fictional spring football quotes from around the nation [April 10, 2006]
Pete Carroll frozen in carbonite; QB Clausen commits to Notre Dame, Hutt syndicate [April 7, 2006]
Bruins harness Dorrellian geometry, turn corner 134th time [Not exactly sure when I wrote this]
Myles Brand siezes 6th circle of Hell; now rules NCAA, infernal city of Dis [April 6, 2006]

And while this technically isn’t college football fake news, what the heck:

A perfectly cromulent guide to using Simpsons quotes during bowl season [Dec. 23, 2006]
The First Annual Creedies [Dec. 1, 2006]
50 reasons why you should be rootin’ for a Notre Dame loss on Nov. 25 [Nov. 24, 2006]