Contact
You can email me at jonathantu [at] yahoo [dot] com. All unsolicited offers should be salacious and mean-spirited in nature.
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About Jonathan Tu
I'm a 23 year old male from Southern California. College football, Newcastle Brown Ale, caramelized onions, well written dialogue, naps, Jeff Buckley's voice and the September 26, 2001 issue of the Onion are the reasons why the universe was created. I tend to get stabby with anyone who disagrees. -
What others are saying
"He's jacked up for every experience. We're real excited to see him progress to the point where he's competing for the starting job at middle college football fake news blogging linebacker. Gosh dang it, someone get me some rollerblades!"
- USC football head coach Pete Carroll
"If Tu doesn’t write the football equivalent of The Man in the High Castle soon, we’ll be shocked." - Orson Swindle, EDSBS
"Though I've no idea what he's on about (most likely due to our being born a century and a half apart - not to mention the accelerated differences between the nineteenth and twentieth centuries, especially compared to the relatively glacial pace of all of human history up until the Industrial Revolution [which I, having seen both the Civil and the Great War, was witness thereof, though the import was far from obvious at the time]), there are certain indefatigable - not to say undeniable, inexorable, perhaps even ineffable - things, having their beginning at a time and place common in the hearts of all those for whom words were the first and only true love, which, at the very least, strongly suggest that he likes long sentences."
- Henry James
"This kid has been stalking me since 1999."
- Neil Gaiman
"He, when in the course of certain events, supports liberty. Justice. Freedom of speech. Religion. Synergy, really. Many halves coming together under one roof as a team, together, under leadership (me) and following a vision (mine). He's more of an assistant, really. An assistant to the regional manager, as it were. I picked him off the street during one of my annual charity walks. 'Get up, you. Bootstraps and all that, eh? Memo to self: when David Brent walks by next, I must remember to thank him.' A heartbreaking case. Near drank himself to death: had to let him go in the end. He was shite. Rubbish."
- David Brent
"His blog is great. Errr, actually, replace 'blog' with 'existence' and 'great' with 'agonizingly empty'."
- Lionel Hutz -
Top Posts
- Miami Ink's user tattoo of the month for April
- Mark Richt breaks long silence on breasts or ass debate: "I'm definitely an ass man"
- I have no empirical evidence that Craig Kilborn is an asshole, but he is
- Motherfuckin' puppies and shit
- Pac-10 vs. SEC: the most original discussion in college football, EVAR
- A perfectly cromulent guide to using Simpsons quotes during bowl season
- Evil will always triumph because good is dumb, and also because good cannot withstand a 5 GB botnet attack
- College football fake news
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Recent Posts
- Reactivation… activated!
- I’m moving
- Riot-fearing Columbus requests assistance from Bartertown, Master Blaster
- Who was that masked man, and what’s he doing kicking field goals?!
- Prediction: Ohio State 34, Florida 24
- Erickson excited about new job, Monster.com membership
- Cancer cured: “I am not going to cure cancer,” says Saban
- R.I.P. Mario Danelo
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Jibber-jabber
My attempt at categories
- Alcohol (16)
- Backpacking through Oceania, Eurasia and Eastasia (34)
- Amsterdam (1)
- Athens (1)
- Austin (1)
- Basel (1)
- Beijing (1)
- Bern (2)
- Bonn (2)
- Brussels (1)
- Catalina (3)
- Cologne (1)
- Interlaken (2)
- Isla Vista (5)
- Lagos (9)
- Las Vegas (2)
- London (3)
- Los Angeles (1)
- Marina del Rey (3)
- New York City (1)
- Paris (1)
- San Diego (1)
- Santa Barbara (1)
- Santorini (2)
- Ulaanbaatar (1)
- Vancouver (1)
- Zurich (2)
- Beards (6)
- Cancelled TV shows (16)
- Family Guy (1)
- Freaks and Geeks (1)
- Miami Ink (1)
- Project Runway (1)
- Rome (1)
- The Office (BBC) (2)
- The Office (US) (2)
- The Simpsons (4)
- The West Wing (1)
- College football (77)
- College football blogs (2)
- Deglazing (4)
- Fake news (28)
- General orgies (9)
- Gerrymandering (9)
- Jigowattage (6)
- Lenny Bruce and Richard Pryor's love children (8)
- Marijuana and nachos induced paranoia (6)
- Movies (13)
- My +4 hammer of vorpal geekdom (15)
- Neil Gaiman/Chris Ware/undead Walt Kelly orgies (7)
- Black Hole (1)
- Jimmy Corrigan: The Smartest Kid on Earth (2)
- The Sandman (1)
- Watchmen (1)
- Y: The Last Man (1)
- Ogie Ogilthorpe and the Singing Shulzhoffers (9)
- Patagonian cattle herders (11)
- Puppies (13)
- Actual puppies (1)
- Rhythmic rhetorics (6)
- Tattoos (3)
- The theat[e]r[e] (7)
- Angels in America (1)
- Avenue Q (1)
- Proof (1)
- The Pillowman (1)
- Voiced uvular fricatives (3)
- Voudon iPod zombie lords (6)
- Jeff Buckley (3)
- Van Morrison (1)
- William Blake's rolling papers (9)
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Gregorian device
July 2008 S M T W T F S « Apr 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 "Back to the Pile..."
- April 2007 (1)
- January 2007 (15)
- December 2006 (17)
- November 2006 (11)
- October 2006 (4)
- September 2006 (3)
- August 2006 (3)
- July 2006 (5)
- June 2006 (13)
- May 2006 (25)
- April 2006 (50)
Books
College football
College football blogs
- 1000 Movies in 1 Year (Alabama)
- A Choad’s Guide to USC Football
- Big Red Network (Nebraska)
- Blue Gray Sky (Notre Dame)
- Boi From Troy (USC)
- Bruins Nation (UCLA)
- Burnt Orange Nation (Texas)
- College Football Resource
- Conquest Chronicles (USC)
- Dawg Sports (Georgia)
- Eccentric Southern Gentlemen (Alabama)
- Every Day Should Be Saturday (Florida)
- Fan Blogs
- Fight On, Forever! (USC)
- Fire Mark May
- Georgia Sports Blog (Georgia… duh)
- Heisman Pundit
- Hey Jenny Slater (Georgia)
- I Can’t Complain (but sometimes I still do) (USC)
- iBlog For Cookies (Michigan)
- Irish Trojan’s Blog (Notre Dame/USC)
- Journalism Is For Rockstars (South Carolina and Alabama)
- Loser with Socks (Tennessee)
- MGoBlog (Michigan)
- MZone (Michigan)
- Rammer Jammer Yellow Hammer (Alabama)
- Rocky Top Talk (Tennessee)
- Roll Bama Roll (Alabama)
- Sexy Results (Virginia)
- Signifying Nothing (SEC…?)
- Student Body Right (USC)
- Sunday Morning QB
- The Displaced Trojan (USC)
- The Extrapolator
- The House Rock Built (Notre Dame)
- Tressel’s World (Ohio State)
- Trojan Wire (USC)
- Trojans - Ducks - Football - Futbol
- Trojans Football News (USC)
- USC Trojan Football
- View From Rocky Top (Tennessee)
Comic books
Food and drink
- 888 Seafood Restaurant
- Alton Brown
- Bass Pale Ale
- CLIF Bar
- Cocktail Times
- Cocktail.com
- Cooks.com
- Corona
- Epicurious
- Guinness
- In-N-Out
- Isla Vista Food Co-Op
- Jack Daniel’s Tennessee Whiskey
- Jamie Oliver
- Lost Coast Brewery
- MacTarnahan’s - home of Oregon Honey Beer
- Newcastle Brown Ale
- Off The Broiler
- Sierra Nevada Brewing Co.
- Soot Bull Jeep
- Steel Reserve
- The Farmer’s Market at 3rd and Fairfax
- Whole Foods Market
- Yai Restaurant
Games
Geekdom
General reviews
Hockey
Humor
- Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster
- Dane Cook
- Eddie Izzard
- Geoffrey Chaucer Hath a Blog
- Go Fug Yourself
- Homestar Runner
- Hot Chicks with Douche Bags
- Jesus’ General
- Lenny Bruce
- McSweeney’s Internet Tendency
- Modern Humorist
- Opium Magazine
- Red vs. Blue
- Richard Pryor
- Scam O’ Rama: The Lads From Lagos
- Something Awful
- The Backseat Kiss
- The Big Jewel
- The Brushback
- The Nose On Your Face
- The Ointment
- The Onion
- The Satirical Political Report
- Yankee Pot Roast
Journalism
- AlterNet
- Anniston Star
- Arts Journal
- Daily Nexus
- Flak Magazine
- Gelf Magazine
- Locus Magazine
- Los Angeles Times
- Mother Jones
- National Geographic Online
- National Security Archives
- New York Times
- New Yorker
- Plagiarism Today
- Poynter
- Reason
- Rolling Stone
- Salon
- Slate
- The Atlantic
- The Smoking Gun
- Village Voice
- Washington Post
- Wired
Miscellaneous
Movies
Music
News aggregators
Radio
Reference
Sex
Tattoos
Television
The theat[e]r[e]
Travel
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Flickr Photos
More Photos 
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Meta
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Spiritual damage inflicted:
- 347,390 souls
- All original text and images are the property of Jonathan Tu. Plagiarism is not cool, man. That rug really tied the site together.
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6 Comments
Tuesday, January 23, 2007 at 8:07 pm
This is one of your favorite fans I watch your show everytime that I am home and is up…now my husband and I have lost our cat of 12 years and my husband will like to get him tattoo in his arm,,,but we need your address so we can come by your place and get an approximate price,,, can you please get back at me with this address,??? Thanks!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thursday, January 25, 2007 at 2:35 pm
This is so confusing I don’t even know where to begin.
Friday, May 11, 2007 at 2:50 am
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Friday, May 11, 2007 at 8:59 am
really sorry, mistaken the commentary box as an email form
Friday, December 21, 2007 at 9:31 pm
Thanks boys0f7d5e991d7c81141a7b2d20e5d48164
Sunday, May 25, 2008 at 7:43 am
Hi we are great fans of you all we are disiting you next year for a taste of your art of tattooing for real. Could you please tell us exactly were you are see you soon.
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